WHY SPAIN?

When moving to Spain was in the planning stage, Maggie asked me “Why Spain instead of California?” It was a good question, but my answer was not a good one. I think I said something about the cost of living being less. While that’s true, and an important factor now that we’re approaching Ed’s retirement, there’s much more to say about Spain and about life in Valencia. Reflecting on the experience of living in Valencia for the last three months, these are the things that help me to better answer Maggie’s question.

PEOPLE ARE FRIENDLY

We have found Spanish people to be friendly and welcoming. It’s more than just friendly. They are kind and eager to help, even to strangers. Numerous times we’ve witnessed people coming to the aid of someone who has dropped something. This happened to Ed one day when he was coming home with groceries. A novice at pushing a wheeled cart around cobblestone streets, he lost his grip, the cart tipped over, and produce was scattered about the street. A young woman walking toward him rushed over to help him pick things up. We’ve seen people help a mother trying to carry a stroller up a flight of stairs, strangers on the street always willing to help with directions. Spanish people seem to always have time to help one another.

NO ONE IS IN A HURRY

Spaniards seem to take their time, deliberately, to appreciate the world and people around them. At first, this can be frustrating (e.g., while waiting in line, waiting to be served, waiting for a scoop of gelato), but it hasn’t taken long to adjust. I find myself following their example – take a breath, wait patiently for my turn, prioritize relationships over schedules, take time to help others, relax and enjoy each day. Live to enjoy life.

LA SOBRAMESA

It is considered normal for people to talk with family and friends after a meal, often for hours. If you reserve a table for dinner, it’s yours for the evening. The assumption is that you will spend lots of time during and after the meal talking with one another. This is such an ingrained part of the culture that there’s even a word for it – sobremesa.

LIFE ON THE STREET

People are always out and about. There are plazas, large and small, around every corner. People gather to mingle with neighbors and friends all day and especially in the evening. There are numerous restaurants, cafes, and bars within walking distance of everyone’s home. Socializing outside seems to reinforce an already strong sense of community.

SAFETY

Talking about being out and about, we’re comfortable walking around the city day and night. There’s very little violent crime here and it’s very comfortable to walk about at any hour. Valencia, just like many other cities in Spain, is ranked among the safest cities in Europe.

HAVING FUN

The Spanish love to celebrate. There’s often a celebration going on in the city. Parades, fancy traditional dresses, marching bands, fireworks, and firecrackers are all a frequent occurrence around Valencia. It’s the same everywhere we travel in Spain. There was the Aste Nagusia in Bilbao last August which celebrates Basque culture; the 20^th anniversary of a Drag Queen Festival in Las Palmas, Gran Canaria (Canary Islands) in February; the festival of Sant Jordi (Saint George) in Tarragona and throughout Catalonia in April; and the Seville Flamenco Festival last October. It’s all about enjoying life today, together. Carpe diem!  

NOT SO MUCH MACHISMO

If there’s a family walking around the city, it will almost always be the man who is pushing the stroller, holding an infant, and holding hands with young children. Men are openly affectionate, including with one another. Hugs, a kiss on each cheek, and laughter seem to be a part of nearly every greeting. We were sitting in a small sidewalk café one day and a group of young men began to gather at the table next to us. Each time someone new arrived, they all got up and to embrace and kiss the newcomer, sometimes multiple times and with lots of laughter. It turns out it was a group of friends celebrating the marriage engagement of one of them.

A little research on this topic: On Jan. 1, 2021, Spain became the first country in the world to give mothers and fathers the same parental leave: 16 weeks, non-transferable and fully paid. A law passed in 2005 was the start of what one can only call a domestic revolution in the country. Spanish MPs drew up a marriage contract for use in civil ceremonies, which obliges men to share household chores and caring for children and older family members. Failure to do this could affect terms of any divorce settlement, with reduced access rights to children.

DIVERSITY

It may be different in small villages, but in Valencia, it’s a live and let live culture. People here are accepting of people from all walks of life. Just be yourself, relax and enjoy life. We experience that here every day. For example, LGTBQ+ rights are not only practiced in everyday life but also celebrated. Our favorite little sidewalk coffee shop (in the mornings) and bar (at night) is openly gay-friendly (signs on the window) and frequented by all sorts of people – straight, gay, families, elderly.

A little research on this topic: The Spanish equality ministry (yes, that’s for real) recently launched a campaign to combat the beauty ideals that pile pressure on women. The message? Come and enjoy the beach just as you are, however you are.  The campaign slogan is “diverse bodies, free of gender stereotypes, occupying all spaces.”

Changing your gender became legal in 2006. Same-sex marriage has been legal since 2005, making Spain the 3rd country in the world to allow it. Same-sex adoption has been legal in Spain since 2005. Since 1995, prejudice against sexual orientation and gender identity in the housing sector has been illegal. Spain banned hate speech targeting sexual orientation and gender identity in 1995. An act of violence motivated by one’s sexuality and gender identity has been considered a hate crime since 1995. LGBTQ+ discrimination in the workplace due to sexual orientation has been illegal in Spain since 1994. Since 1977, members of the LGBTQ+ community can openly serve in the military.

PRIORITIES

People here just seem happy. I always tell Ed; these Spanish people have a good life. They don’t need a large home (not many have one) or a high-paying job (salaries are low) to enjoy life. Instead, they find happiness in the company of others, enjoying a beer and good conversation as they sit outdoors at a bar or sidewalk café on a sunny day, enjoying sobremesa after dinner, participating in countless celebrations and fiestas. An expat friend went shopping for a new summer wardrobe last year and after buying several items at a small shop in Valencia, the proprietor of the shop closed for the day. Apparently, she was satisfied with the amount of money she’d made that day and opted to spend time with family and friends rather than working for the rest of the day.

FUTURE THINKING

Spain, extremely vulnerable to climate change, is working hard to address this. Most Spaniards see addressing climate change as the biggest challenge facing us today. While this is not something you see every day on the city streets and at the cafes, even a cursory read of the Spanish news and government actions, reveal a strong commitment to sustainability and protecting the environment. These are serious topics in Spain.

A little research on this topic: In Spain, there are over 70 million acres of protected land. That’s nearly a third of Spain’s terrestrial space and about 12% of the marine surface areas. 81% of Spanish people say they are in favor of stricter measures imposing changes on people’s behavior. 89% say they want to replace short-distance flights by fast, low-polluting trains in collaboration with neighboring countries. 70% would welcome a tax on products and services that contribute most to global warming.

It’s not paradise. There are serious problems to address. The 2008 global financial crisis sharply exacerbated both food insecurity and poverty and the impact is still evident today. Also, Spain was no exception to the devastation of the Covid-19 pandemic. There does, however, seem to be a government that is working to address these issues. And people here are happy…happy to be alive, happy to be Spanish.

We are thrilled and honored to be able to live here, to experience Spanish culture, and as always, to learn and to grow. 

P.S. We’re back to the U.S. as of Sunday, May 14 and while it was difficult to leave our new home in Valencia, we’re looking forward to spending time with our stateside family and friends.